#11 As I wrote before, if everyone you meet in life is replaceable, so are you in other’s life. We may now ask this question, how does one become irreplaceable? Have you asked this question yourself? Most of us think we are irreplaceable. Is it so? What is it that makes us irreplaceable? How far are we from being irreplaceable? Who can say we are irreplaceable? A certain self-evaluation is required for this understanding.
To a reasonable extent, self-help books have helped people realize they are replaceable at work. Of course, some still live within the hallucination that the company revolves around them. Companies run on balance sheets, investor’s interest, and nothing more. On the first day of my job, my HR was kind enough to remind us that the primary reason for us to be there was the money involved. I felt it was harsh at that time, but that’s reality. I always appreciate that statement in my life. Even with the realization that they are replaceable at work, people feel they are irreplaceable at home because they are tied up to home in some form. They come home with their roles granted. Parents take for granted that their children will always stand up for them and vice-versa. In marriage, people take their spouses for granted by their vows. And so on. Things go fine until a situation comes when the assumptions go wrong. Thus, if you don’t play the role you are supposed to, anytime things can fail. The fewer roles you play, the easiest to replace you.
Everyone you meet and keep in your life is because you consciously or unconsciously expect them to play a role for you in your life. So first thing you should realize is that you have to be ready to play as many roles as you can for all others around you. The more roles you play, the more you become irreplaceable to the people around you. Again remember, one shouldn’t do this as a mechanical process; that won’t be lovely and caught quickly. One should grow to make this an inherent quality. We all know when one does something for you, is it coming from own willingness or not? And that’s the whole point. Are you willing or not? If you are genuinely willing to everyone around you, then you are ready to take on any role for them.
Is that all you need to do to become an irreplaceable being? No. As you build yourself to take on any role, you should become that person with no expectations of someone playing a role for you. In a way, you have to grow towards a self-sufficient life. All the roles you want others to do for you should gradually be your responsibility. As I always remind myself, Your life, Your responsibility. The more you travel in life with this awareness, the more freedom you experience. And as with more freedom, more responsibilities. This lack of ability to be responsible for one’s life makes them tied up to things they otherwise don’t want to.
In life, if you know someone of such a quality of being an irreplaceable entity, don’t burden them further. Cherish them. I am sure they are rare. As said by someone who I feel is an irreplaceable figure in my life, “If you have no will of your own, you are truly willing to life.”